Did you ever feel that you weren’t good enough to shine?
I always used to think that to really get what you wanted, abiding by the system was required. In order to be successful, you must be good and operate in a prescribed way, take in what’s going on around you, process it, and spit it out with the intention of making your actions well received by the interpreter; the interpreter being society. It took me aback a bit when I realized that nobody really gives a fuck about how things look, that’s all on the outside; what people really care about is how you make them feel.
About a year ago, I gave up. I gave up on everything I was taught, I gave up on my so called “purpose” to fulfill a position in society, to maintain a day job, to buy a house, to get a new car, get married, to fall in line and serve a purpose in a system that was somehow diagnosed for me without me knowing why. I mean, does happiness really only happen if you’re married by age 30?
This so called “dream” never really felt right (plus I’m not a huge fan of fluffy white dresses), so I gave up what was “promised” and “expected” of me and chucked all of my methodical, organized, standardized upbringing to find out who I really was. Who am I without a JOB? What am I worth without a HUSBAND? What if I have NO MONEY? Who is Jackie Chambers?
A friend once said to me, “Jackie, do you know that ever since I’ve met you, you’ve been talking about going to India?” It dawned on me that I had known that friend for SEVEN YEARS, so what was wrong with me if I had TALKED about something for seven years, and never actually DID it?
I realized I was detached from my very reason for being on this planet. I was living for the exhausted expectation, and not for the simple truth. We are all meant to be explorers of this world, and there really is no path that proves better than another, it’s up to only us to find the path to our true reality.
Every one of us, even our own mothers, have the capacity to change, to give up what’s holding us back. I decided to smile at the thing that was teasing me and let that ever-present string that’s invisibly attached to the heart, gut, stomach, legs, head, arms; just let it pull me to where I was supposed to go.
I stopped thinking and worrying about what I was missing and LET THE DECISIONS MAKE THEMSELVES. It’s really that easy to give in, but are you ready?
The key to happiness is in our thoughts. One day, I stopped believing in sickness, I stopped believing in negative. I decided that it was up to me to decide how I was going to spend MY LIFE. I had a mountain of student loan debt, family drama, and rent and bills and a boyfriend and dogs to take care of, and oh, so many limitations. So many reasons why, reasons to be stuck, reasons why I simply couldn’t do what I really wanted to do. Reasons for REGRET. And why? Because that was MY CHOICE at that time. I simply wasn’t aware of my power of perception. The things that were holding me back were only doing that because I allowed myself to think they were.
All you really have to do is flip the switch. It’s as easy as going to your nearest store and buying rose colored glasses, and then refusing to take them off. From there, ANYTHING is possible if you choose to see it that way. Go to Mount Everest? No problemo. Dress up as a Geisha in Kyoto? Of course. Snorkel in the Great Barrier Reef off of the coast of Australia? Why not? I personally experienced all of these things, with almost no money, and hardly a plan. I went ALONE. It was a CHOICE. I got over my limitation and listened to my heart. It was breathtaking, humbling, amazing.
It’s not impossible that when you’re setting out to do something, the doubts will rise up like little fish jumping in the water. All it takes is to admire them and let them dive back into the deep. Somehow your intentions will miraculously align and everything you’ve ever needed will come into your grasp. All of the “impossible” will conspire because you really believe in your destiny as a human life form. You can do ANYTHING.
Want IT. Acknowledge IT. Let IT take control. Let IT plan. Let IT organize. Let IT spend. Let IT dictate. Let IT fail. Let IT flow. Let IT consume your entire being. And you will never worry. You will never feel sad. You will never feel sick. Because you know, that you’re a part of IT. And whatever IT is, is your decision… your very own power as a human being.
And how cool is that. It’s up to YOU to DECIDE. What an amazing gift. YOUR LIFE.